A Little Creepy

Spidey 6875
Originally uploaded by Unknown species

Sometimes life can get just a little creepy. There are times when I wonder about such things as free will and fate. Are some things meant to happen and some not? Are there forces over which we have no control directing our lives? Or is it all our own subconscious mind, bending our lives to its own agenda. I do not know nor I suspect, does anyone else. When things 'just happen' is there a reason? And when things fail to happen, is there also a reason? The more religious among us would say yes, this is simply the will of the Great Maker at work. No matter what name or form they choose to give this Great Maker, his plans are always too convoluted and mysterious for us mere mortals to comprehend. Maybe, and then again maybe not.

For most of the creatures on this planet, life is fairly straightforward as is their so-called fate. They are born (or hatched), they mate, produce the next generation and die. Everything else is simply maintenance. For humans this is never so simple. There are relationships, careers, family and our place in whatever society we choose to live in. All of these things either lead or push us in one direction or another. Where we wind up would seem to be random but is it really? All the rest of nature appears to be following a plan, why not us?

My own life has been a series of things that seemingly 'just happened' or just did not happen. If there is any master plan, the planners never let me see the blueprint. Like most people, I have no idea what tomorrow will bring. I left DOMO when my knees gave out--not something I saw coming but there it was. I could no longer do the job so it was time to leave. Someone far wiser than me once said, "You can never go back." She was referring to a dead relationship at the time and she was right. Neither of us could ever go back to the way things had been. The same appears to be true when it comes to other life choices.

One can only move forward, never back. After leaving DOMO I tried going back to the familiar--the taxi. For most of my life it has been a haven to me, somewhere I could hide and do my thing. Not any more. After just four shifts back dispatching I was pulled off the board and sent home. I was angry and bitter at first but in the end I think they did me a favour--now I have no choice and must move forward. Whatever I do from here on in won't involve pumping gas or taxis. That only leaves a couple of million other options.

Fate, random chance or my own subconscious? Cannot say. Saying would be knowing. Do not know; therefore cannot say. Zathras had it right. Perhaps my life is meant to go a different direction now. Maybe someone will finally buy one (or more) of my pictures (shameless plug--the link is to your right). Either way, I know I will survivve this just as I have survived all the other twists and turns fate or random chance have tossed me.